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Love Addiction Self-Assessment

The following questions are designed to be used as guidelines to identifying possible signposts of sex and love addiction. They are not intended to provide a sure-fire method of diagnosis, nor can negative answers to these questions provide absolute assurance that the dysfunction is not present. Many sex and love addicts have varying patterns which can result in very different ways of approaching and answering these questions. Despite this fact, we have found that short, to-the-point questions have often provided as effective a tool for self-diagnosis as have lengthy explanations of what sex and love addiction is. We appreciate that the diagnosis of sex and love addiction is a matter that needs to be both very serious and very private. We hope that these questions will prove helpful.

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Question 1 of 25

Have you ever tried to control how often you would see someone romantically?

A

Yes

B

No

Question 2 of 25

Do you ever get “high” from romance, fantasy or intrigue?

A

Yes

B

No

Question 3 of 25

Do you feel desperation or uneasiness when away from your lover or sexual partner?

A

Yes

B

No

Question 4 of 25

Do you believe that a romantic relationship will make your life bearable?

A

Yes

B

No

Question 5 of 25

Are you unable to stop seeing a specific person even though you know that person is destructive to you?

A

Yes

B

No

Question 6 of 25

Do you have difficulty being alone?

A

Yes

B

No

Question 7 of 25

Do you feel that life would have little or no meaning without a love relationship?

A

Yes

B

No

Question 8 of 25

Do you replace ended relationships immediately?

A

Yes

B

No

Question 9 of 25

Do you find that you have a pattern of repeating bad relationships?

A

Yes

B

No

Question 10 of 25

Does attention to your romantic relationships help you to cope with or escape from life’s problems?

A

Yes

B

No

Question 11 of 25

Do you find yourself flirting with or sexualizing someone even if you do not mean to?

A

Yes

B

No

Question 12 of 25

Do you ever find yourself in relationships you are unable to leave?

A

Yes

B

No

Question 13 of 25

Do you feel that you don’t want anyone to know about your sexual or romantic activities?

A

Yes

B

No

Question 14 of 25

Have you had sex with someone so that they will like you better or love you more?

A

Yes

B

No

Question 15 of 25

Do you make promises to yourself concerning your sexual or romantic behavior that you find you cannot follow?

A

Yes

B

No

Question 16 of 25

Do you believe that someone can “fix” you or “make it better”?

A

Yes

B

No

Question 17 of 25

Do you feel that you’re not “really alive” unless you are with your sexual/romantic partner?

A

Yes

B

No

Question 18 of 25

Have you ever threatened your financial stability, reputation, or standing in the community by pursuing a love relationship?

A

Yes

B

No

Question 19 of 25

Do you believe that the problems in your love life result from continuing to remain with the “wrong” person?

A

Yes

B

No

Question 20 of 25

Do you often feel an instant closeness and complete connection with people you just met?

A

Yes

B

No

Question 21 of 25

Do you need to have sex, or “fall in love” in order to feel like a “real man” or a “real woman”?

A

Yes

B

No

Question 22 of 25

Are you unable to concentrate on other areas of your life because of romantic thoughts or feelings you are having about another person?

A

Yes

B

No

Question 23 of 25

Have you ever wished you could stop or control your sexual and romantic activities for a given period of time?

A

Yes

B

No

Question 24 of 25

Do you feel that your life is unmanageable because of your excessive relationship needs?

A

Yes

B

No

Question 25 of 25

Have you ever thought that there might be more you could do with your life if you were not so driven by sexual and romantic pursuits?

A

Yes

B

No

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